Poems

How does one start over

when they don’t know where to begin

How does one start over

when there is still no end

How does one start over

when they don’t know how

How does one start over…

By starting now!

4/23/23

How

This house is sheer insanity

I cannot be the mother they require me to be

I have not enough wisdom or strength

the words and insults cut straight through

no matter what I say, they do as they do

my mind is exhausted,my heart fully guarded and bruised

From minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years of abuse

abuse from a child meant to love, but full of Rage

Rage I have nothing to do with but experience every day

there are no words to say the pain is real, runs deep to my core

my heart is so heavy it can feel no more

so here I wait till my time has come

living a life with no light, just numb

my joy is gone, it's passed away

And here alone I must stay

trying to be the mother they require of me

that no matter what, I will never be

5/11/20

This House is Sheer Insanity

On the outside I look whole

however there's nothing whole about me

beneath the exterior there's a Heart full of holes

but those holes you do not see

holes created by a loved one

one I cherished and vowed to keep

but as she grows older

her words continue to cut much too deep

on the outside I look strong

however there is no strength left

the one who was always there for others

can't seem to grasp this role of mother

a mother to others I have been

full of joy and always a grin

but this time it is not

this time I walk in knots

I do not see how this will play

I can only wait and pray

That the holes don't devour me whole

but where I am love does not grow

8/26/20

On the outside

So much pain

I see no end

for every step I gained

three more send me back again

so here I sit pen in hand

wondering how I got to where I am

when does it stop where do I go

questions with answers I do not know

I sit and wait

and hope for change

but it's so late

any difference I cannot gauge

the anger stirs, the tears they flow

How this ends only God knows

6/26/20

Poems

How

This House is Sheer Insanity

On the outside

So Much Pain